Welcome to My World of Quotes

Page 2   

 I have been collecting quotes for many years and now I finally have a place to put them and share them with others.  These are some of my favorite quotes. Some are serious and some are funny and yet oh so true.  I hope you enjoy them.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength." - Corrie TenBoom

d a d

Andy Rooney: Tips for Handling Telemarketers 
Three Little Words That Work !! 

(1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..." 
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. 

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting. 

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? 
This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answer s the phone. 

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home. 

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer !!! 

(3) Junk Mail Help: 
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or u tility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away. 

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. 

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back. 

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes. 

One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas: 
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back! 

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. 

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents. 

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice! 

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea ! 

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ----I have been doing this for years, and I get very little junk mail anymore. 

d a d

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the MOST romantic first line ... and the LEAST romantic second line: 

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss ... but I only slept with you, because I was pissed. 

I thought that I could love no other ... Until, that is, I met your brother. 

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. ... But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. 

Of loving beauty you float with grace ... If only you could hide your face. 

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot ... This describes everything you are not. 

I want to feel your sweet embrace ... But don't take that paper bag off of your face. 

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ... Damn, I'm good at telling lies! 

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: ... Marrying you screwed up my life. 

I see your face when I am dreaming ... That's why I always wake up screaming. 

My love, you take my breath away ... What have you stepped in to smell this way? 

My feelings for you no words can tell ... Except for maybe "Go To Hell." 

What inspired this amorous rhyme? ... Two parts vodka, one part lime.

d a d

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to 
a garage makes you a mechanic. 

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never 
tried before. 

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the 
waist change places. 

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks 
before you need it. 

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a 
mistake when you make it again. 

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real 
world. 

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never 
cease to be amused.

d a d


Useful Expressions For Those HIGH STRESS Days

** Well, aren't we just a ray of sunshine?
** Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
** Do I really look like a people person?
** This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
** I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
** You! Off my planet !!
** Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
** Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of 
self-control.
** Did the aliens forget to remove the probe?
** Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
** And your cry-baby whiny opinion would be...?
** I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
** Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
** Do they ever shut up on your planet?
** I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
** I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
** A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
** Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't 
fallen asleep yet.
** I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
** How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
** I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
** I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
** Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
** Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
** Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
** Earth is full. Go home.
** Is it time for your medication or mine?
** Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
** I plead contemporary insanity.
** How do I set a laser printer to stun?
** I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
** When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

d a d

"THE FORGOTTEN 10 OTHER COMMANDMENTS"

Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.

Thou shall face each problem as it comes.  You can only handle one at a time anyway.

Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor
bedfellows.

Thou shall not borrow other people's problems.  They can better care for them than you can.

Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone.  Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now!

Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear different ideas from your own.  It is hard to learn something new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.

Thou shall not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.

Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.  

~ Author Unknown ~

d a d

Moving Thoughts 

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

d a d

To belittle is to be little.

Speak gently - it is better far to rule by love than fear. Speak gently - let no harsh words mar the good we might do here.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could find other things as easily as we find fault?

No man has it so good but that two or three words can dishearten, and there is no calamity but a few right words can hearten.

To listen well is as to talk well and is as essential to all true conversation.

The greatest truths are the simplest; and so are the greatest men.

A small unkindness is a great offense.

I have wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to somebody's need made me blind; But I never have yet felt a twinge of regret for being a little too kind.

Be careful how you live; you may be the only Bible some people read.

Instruction may end in the schoolroom, but education ends only with life.

Talent knows what to do; tact knows when and how to do it.

Character development is the true aim of education.

Nothing is done finally and right. Nothing is known positively and completely.

Confront improper conduct, not by retaliation, but by example.

Firmness is that admirable quality in ourselves that is merely stubbornness in others.

It is easier to be critical than correct.

The way of the world is to praise dead saints and persecute living ones.

To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.

An obstinate man does not hold opinions - they hold him.

The aim of education is to teach us how to think, not what to think.

Men are apt to settle a question rightly when it is discussed freely.

Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.

If we were faultless we should not be so much annoyed by the defects of others.

He surely is most in need of another's patience, who has none of his own.

In youth we run into difficulties; in age difficulties run into us.

Making excuses doesn't change the truth.

Remember there is blue sky behind the darkest cloud.

The man who rows the boat doesn't have time to rock it.

If at first you do succeed, try something harder.

The cloud that darkens the present hour may brighten all our future days.

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Men do not fail; they give up trying.

Consider wherein you agree with your opponent rather than wherein you differ.

Think little of what others think of you.

Doing nothing is the more tiresome job in the world because you cannot quit and rest.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet.

A cheerful friend is like a sunny day.

Smile for the joy of others.

Remember there are no bad days - some are just better than others.

It is good to let a little sunshine out as well as in.

There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.

Don't spend your days stringing and tuning your instrument - start making music now.

A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance.

All people smile in the same language.

A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight.

d a d

Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, Speak words of kindness 

For lovely eyes, Seek out the good in people. 

For a slim figure, Share your food with the hungry. 

For beautiful hair, Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. 

For poise, Walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone. 

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody. 

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. 

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. 

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, The figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. 

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, Because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. 

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she 
lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, And the beauty of a woman with passing years-only grows! 

d a d

d a d

Rules For Work:

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00
and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is
refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every
10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even
better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going.
It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where
you are.

4. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me
which is priority. I am psychic.

5. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and
really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life
beyond work.

6. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets
out, it could mean a promotion.

7. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name
to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

8. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write
them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.
No use confusing me with useful information.

9. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no
right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am
plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions
will identify them.

10. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could
really change your life and send you straight to manager's
hell.

11. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any
and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially
like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus
check you received for being such a good manager.

12. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my
goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating
with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money
anyway.

d a d

CARROTS, EGGS, or COFFEE BEANS??

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to  the kitchen.

She filled three pots with water.

In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the
last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes
she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them
in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she
ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter,
 she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and
noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break
 it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled , as she
tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went
in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile.
Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after
sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. the ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water
they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. " When adversity knocks on your
door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot , an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt
and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the
heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death , a breakup, a
financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff
spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water,
the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it
releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things
are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

 When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you
elevate to another level? How do you handle Adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG OR A COFFEE BEAN?

d a d

"How To Stay Young, Happy & Healthy"

Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. If you really need a grouch, there are probably a few dozen of your relatives to do the job.

Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening ...whatever. Just never let the brain idle.

Enjoy the simple things. When the children are young... that is all that you can afford. When they are in college... that is all that you can afford. When they are grown and you are on retirement... that is all that you can afford!

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.

The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is ... ourselves.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies ... whatever. Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health. If it is good ... preserve it. If it is unstable ... improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve ... get help.

Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country... but not guilt.

Tell the people you love, that you love them ... at every opportunity.

Remember ...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

~Author Unknown~


d a d

  BACK NEXT

  HOME 

My little butterfly's followed me home from Flutterfly's site.

Unless otherwise noted, Copyrights (c) are retained by S & B Crafts on all existing art, images and graphics located in this site.  All Rights Reserved.